11/13, 9:36, scooped Sam’s litter and replenished it. Felt good to get that out of the way first thing as I didn’t want it lingering on my mind while doing other chores or risk Sam getting upset and choosing a different spot. Did the laundry before deep cleaning the kitchen. Washing clothes first allowed me to make better use of my time, as I could clean the kitchen while the washer was running. In the kitchen, I started with the fridge, then the microwave, stove, hood and countertops.
Between cleaning, I kept the laundry going and brushed Dozer’s fur – he sheds heavily in the fall. At 2:01 pm, had “Bánh bao” for lunch. It’s a soft, fluffy, steamed bun filled with seasoned ground pork, boiled egg, and sausage. At 4:09 pm, did the third load of laundry, walked Dozer, fed D&S, made a quick trip to Dollar General for tape and dish soap.
11/14, didn’t sleep enough. Breakfast was “Bánh bao” and a small bowl of ground pork and bamboo shoot congee. Took prenatal vitamins, vit D and baby aspirin. At 8:41 , started the first load of laundry with the mats. At 9:26, did the second load with Dozer’s bed covers and blanket, cleaned the trash cans, vacuumed carpets, and packed pantry items.
Saturday, 11/15, S came home. Every Friday, he drove over 10 hours straight after work, spent Saturday at home, and left early Sunday morning for the same long drive back to work. In NC, where we were going to move to, we had finished buying the house. S moved out of the Airbnb he had been staying for over a month, cleaned it before leaving, and moved all his belongings into the new house. He also hired a cleaning company for a move-in service, which cost $125/person/hr, much more expensive than a standard cleaning. Then, he transfered all the utility accounts to ensure gas, electricity, water and trash pickup were ready to use. At the same time, he contacted insurance providers to get quotes for our house in AL. Since we are going to rent it, the rental insurance rate is much higher than that of the primary residence policy. He moved between places, and took care all of these tasks while keeping up with his professional work. His ability to multitask and manage his time so efficiently is something I deeply admire—it’s a kind of organization I struggle with.
That day, our kind neighbor walked over with some satsumas and a pack of fresh bass he’d caught. I really like him and his wife – they are so caring and generous and they keep their house and vehicles spotless. Their house is in pristine condition and it’s no exaggeration to say that you’d be hard-pressed to find a single leaf in their yard. What’s especial is that they are both in their 70s, yet their energy, dedication and discipline are truly inspiring. In the afternoon, we went to Carrabba’s , our favorite Italian restaurant, for lunch. I enjoy everytime we are there. I had a grilled scallop salad, chicken soup, garlic and lemon butter mussels (Cozze Bianco), and a classic platter with calamari, Mozzarella Marinara and grilled bread topped with ricotta and tomatoes. I especially loved Cozze Bianco. The flavor was pleasantly tangy, creamy without being heavy. Though this time the sauce was thicker but it’s still one of the best dishes on the menu.
Anyway, it was late, 10:36 pm. I took a shower, relaxed for a bit before getting ready for bed. Tomorrow was going to be a busy day.
11/16, the last cleaning day. Did the laundry and cleaned the bathrooms. S told me not to clean until after we finished all packing. However, I didn’t want to leave for the last minute. Moving day always makes me nervous and distracted, so I’d rather get the deep cleaning done beforehand.
That day was also my last cooking day. I didn’t feel like it, but I didn’t want to bring raw food on the road. Cooked food, especially meat, is much easier and less messy to store. I hadn’t bought many groceries since we were ready to leave, but we ate out a lot that week. In total, there were about 10 to 12 small packages of food. Thankfully, the cool and crisp weather made storing and transporting them much more convenient. I don’t usually store food in plastic bags because it feels wasteful to use them just once. But storing food in containers would take up a lot of room, so I just transfered all the food into plastic bags to save space. Then, I ran the last load of dishes so that I could pack up the rest.
11/17, the day before the move. We actually had done most of the work, but when we looked around, it seemed there were a lot left to do, especially in the kitchen and bathroom. I did two loads of laundry, and packed all the remaining clothes and towels. I also packed the rest of the dishes. Previously, I used Amazon small boxes with notes on top. But then, I placed those small boxes into larger ones to reduce the number of boxes to carry. Then I cleaned the bathroom and packed up everything in there, leaving just a few things for use the next morning.
I put my personal things in a backpack and used a bag to store the clothes that I might need for a week. We were informed that the delivery might take anywhere from 2 to 21 business days. The long waiting window was frustrating, but there was nothing we could do about it. Hopefully, it would come sooner, though I got enough clothes for seven days just in case.
Then, I cleaned the toilet cleaning tools, and let them dry before putting them into a trash can so we wouldn’t need a box for them. Honestly, there wasn’t much left to do, but it took us the whole day to finish all the tasks. Finding a right place for things, reorganizing, and deciding what to keep or throw away are time-consuming, just like looking for things.
Searching for items took time too. Sometimes, I forgot what I was looking for and where it was, so I ended up walking up and down, back and forth, trying to remember and find things. It got repetitive and wasted a lot of time. We were very careful about how many boxes we used because we didn’t want to exceed the number we’d told the moving company.
In the afternoon, we had lunch at a Chinese buffet, then went back home to keep packing and cleaning. I wiped down the shelves in the kitchen, pantry, and master closet.
You’ve got the fast speech rules in American English—contractions, assimilation, elision, etc. Your pronunciation is clear, and expression isn’t an issue. Yet, you still notice a difference: you speak slowly and less smoothly compared to a native speaker. Have you ever wondered why? The answer lies in the tongue. It needs to be both flexible and stable, which helps you control your speed, while also ensuring your speech sounds natural and smooth. Think of your tongue as the accelerator, determining how fast or slow your speech flows. With the right placement and movement, it can achieve both flexibility and stability. Let’s look at why this matters and how to practice it.
The tongue has three main parts: the tip, the body, which includes the blade, and back, and the root.
When you’re about to speak, your tongue should be in a “tall” position. Specifically, the body should be slightly raised from the floor of the mouth, the tip should rest comfortably behind the bottom teeth, and the back should form a gentle arch near the roof of your mouth. From here, the blade moves subtly in various directions for different sounds. In this position, the tongue is closer to the front of the mouth, near the lips, teeth, and roof, which makes enunciation easier and faster.
The key is to keep the tongue stable but flexible when moving. Without stability, it loses control; without flexibility, it gets rigid. You need to balance both by understanding the roles of the root and the blade and how they work together. The root, which attaches partly to the floor of the mouth and partly to the throat, provides stability. Think of it as an anchor that keeps your tongue’s movements under control, steady but not tense. If the root is rigidly tied down to the floor of the mouth or the back is raised too high, it restricts the rest of the tongue and makes your voice sound unnatural. If you feel tension, that’s a sign to relax.
Once you have that stability, the blade needs flexibility. This is the most active part, doing most of the work in forming sounds. Its movements should be smooth and effortless to allow easy transitions between sounds. It doesn’t need to be aggressive or forceful, which would only slow you down and make your speech sound choppy or heavy. Keeping movements small and consistent helps you sound more natural and prevents your speech from feeling forced. When this part moves smoothly within a gentle range, you’ll notice faster, easier transitions between syllables, making your speech flow comfortably.
As you speak, focus on the tongue and let the other articulators take a passive, supportive role. Picture the tongue as standing tall and comfortable as you speak—this will help your speech become faster and sound more natural. Avoid dropping your lower jaw too much, as this can make the root unstable. Don’t overuse your articulatory muscles, or your tongue will become tense and stiff. And most importantly, use your breath to raise the tongue forward. When you inhale, the tongue muscle (genioglossus) naturally moves forward, making the tongue “taller”.
To ensure that the body and root of the tongue are relaxed, check the lingual frenulum (the strip under the tongue). If it’s tight, it indicates tension in the tongue. The frenulum should feel comfortably extended as you speak.
In conclusion, balancing your tongue’s flexibility and stability is key to achieving native-like fluency. While there are lots of details to keep in mind as you practice, it really comes down to visualizing your tongue standing tall and relaxed. If it slips out of this position, use your breath to help you regain control.
I’m not sure where to start—there’s just so much I want to write about. Since August, so much has happened, and with November already coming, I feel like I really need to get my mind cleared and refreshed. This time has been intense and overwhelming, filled with fears, anxieties, and insecurities. But it’s also brought me so much love, happiness, and gratitude—more than I think I’ve ever felt before.
This year felt like a low point in our relationship. I couldn’t find connection and sensed a great distance between us. He was still supportive and protective, but the kind of closeness we used to have seemed to have gone. Our conversations stayed on the surface—often small talk and updates on our days. I lost sight of my role in the relationship. I was filled with doubt, lacking confidence, positivity, and happiness. But I couldn’t bring myself to ask him; I already had enough on my plate. I could only focus on one thing at a time, so I accepted things as they were.
I was living with fear, insecurity, and anxiety, praying every night for peace because that was all I could do at the time. Then an unfortunate event happened in the early days of August. We suffered loss but it was also a time I (maybe we) had also gained so much. I found my husband again, the same man I love. He was there—healthy, strong, and with the same resilient spirit I’ve always admired. He’s a fighter, always facing struggles head-on. As long as he remained the person I knew, I believe everything would eventually be fine though I didn’t know what would be waiting for us ahead. What I did know that we had each other, we were healthy and we were determined to find the fastest way to change the situation. And it was such an awe when he showed me how much he loves, needs, and values me. He kept telling me how important I am to him, and that I “define” him. All of these answered the questions I just couldn’t ask for so long. I had hesitated, fearing I might not get the answers I wanted or that I wouldn’t be ready to handle any unexpected truths. I kept my questions, insecurities, and doubts to myself. Amazingly, all my questions have unfolded without needing to be spoken.
You might wonder why I didn’t ask sooner. If I had, I could have saved myself a lot of energy, fear, and insecurity, since everything turned out to be much better than I’d imagined. In hindsight, it’s easy to think I should have just asked. But back then, the circumstance was just so different. There was a tense vibe between us back then—a quiet negativity that lingered in the air. It felt like just opening my mouth could be misinterpreted, like I was about to say something negative. It was as if a small talk could quickly turn heated, without meaning it to. Sometimes, it seems like every effort and intention backfires, and nothing we do works or even makes things worse. I felt powerless, so I chose to accept things as they were and focus on what mattered most to me at the time, while hoping for the best.
That event really helped me gain clarity on all my questions. Sometimes, the best action is to do nothing and wait for the right moment. It’s not easy, as it requires wisdom and trust in your instincts to recognize that moment. Once you identify it, you also need the courage to wait. Sometimes, it’s best to be patient and let things unfold naturally, just as they did for me.
By the end of August, things improved beyond anything I could have imagined. S was busy with job applications, interviews, and phone calls.
In September, he received multiple job offers with attractive salary packages, and the most lucrative ones were in big cities. This posted a challenge for us, as we were shocked by how high the rent and living costs were in those areas.
We did some research on house rentals in the area and were astonished to discover that we couldn’t find a single-family home for less than $3,000. Even if we were willing to pay around that amount, our choices would still be limited. This was shocking, especially since we currently live in a comfortable place where everything is affordable. When we bought our current home, it was relatively inexpensive, and we were fortunate to find a nice house in a good neighborhood at a fair price. So, finding out that it was impossible to rent a single-family home for under $3,000 a month left us feeling stressed. Housing prices were even more astonishing, with costs around $700,000 for few listings. Both of us are willing to work hard and face challenges. S is incredibly strong, resilient, and intelligent. However, we also recognized the need to be realistic. While we don’t shy away from challenges or obstacles, it is important to choose what would be best for us without unnecessary headaches or excessive effort, as we want to enjoy life as well. Challenges can be beneficial for a certain period, but if they become chronic, they are unhealthy.
Weighing all the pros and cons, S decided to accept an offer in a more affordable state. It wasn’t the best financially but the most suitable for us. First and foremost, he loves the nature and scope of the work, as it aligns with his expertise and experience. In this position, he focuses solely on engineering and technical aspects, which he has been doing comfortably for years. In contrast, the director positions he was offered would have required him to learn non-technical skills and adjust to fit those roles. Comfort is crucial. While financial considerations are undeniably important, a primary factor when accepting a job is whether someone can see themselves fulfilled in that role and envisioning a future there. I’m glad that S feels comfortable and assured in this position. Even though the overall benefits are slightly lower than those of other offers, and the career progression here isn’t clearly defined, it doesn’t matter as long as he enjoys what he does and our finances aren’t strained.
Second, this position is located in a more affordable state, especially regarding housing prices. When he received the director offers, I felt proud of him and pleased with our progress in the job search. However, I also recognized the pressure and stress he would face with the move. Since we rely on a single income, he is solely responsible for our finances. Given that we aren’t getting any younger and also have other mortgages, the situation became more challenging. For the new job, our relocation would not be too far, meaning a considerable amount of our time, money, and energy on the move will be saved. Plus, we are much closer to our in-laws; taxes are lower, and the cost of living is more pleasant.
House rentals in the new area are expensive though. However, honestly, S has never been fond of renting; he enjoys fixing and renovating homes. Working on the house after work is his hobby, and it’s a way for him to relieve stress. Also, being a renter comes with many restrictions that conflict with his passion for renovation. That’s why I understand that it’s important for us to buy a house rather than rent one.
Townhouses, condos, or apartments aren’t for us because they don’t have a yard, which we need for D&S. Plus, they don’t give us enough privacy we’re looking for. With our limited budget, we were looking for a 2000-square-foot single-family house on a decent lot in a decent neighborhood; plus it should be close enough to the workplace and other amenities. What a challenge!
I told myself that we didn’t need a nice home. We wouldn’t be worried about minor imperfections or damages—S actually prefers those because he wants to take on renovation projects. As long as there weren’t any major problems, like issues with the foundation, heating system, or leaks, we could handle everything else. We’ve made plenty of improvements and renovations in the past, so as long as we found such a house in a decent neighborhood, we could always make it better.
S’s a handyman, and I don’t mind cleaning and taking care of the house. While we don’t have much money, we’ve got time, dedication, skills and hard work. We can turn a house into a home, and I see imperfections as real advantages, making it more affordable for us.
Luckily, we finally found a house. It will need a lot of work, which we expected. It’s smaller than our desired size, but it’s adequate and meets our other criteria. I know that renovations won’t be cheap but we don’t have to tackle everything at once. We can take our time and do the work gradually, so we can enjoy life along the way.
The house is in a suburb close to a big city, which means life will be more lively and bustling compared to where we currently live. That excites me, although it might not be as appealing to S since he’s more of a private person. I enjoy social connections, even though I don’t always need to engage with people. Just the feeling of being part of a community is fulfilling for me. I find that simply witnessing the hustle and bustle—traffic, people moving around, and everyday activity—is enough to make me feel socially connected.
We scheduled the house closing for the first half of November. S took care of everything related to the home purchase, from working with the realtor to coordinating with the inspector and managing the loan application. I was really relieved that I didn’t have to go through that stressful process, especially with all the paperwork involved. Though I didn’t directly participate, we shared each step, discussing any issues we encountered, our concerns about the loan, interest rates, closing costs, and the house inspection report.
In October, S started a new job. While waiting for the house closing, he is staying in an Airbnb and I’m home packing and cleaning the house to ensure it is ready for rent. Though the new job is over eight hours away from our home, S drives home every weekend to help me clean and do small fixes the rental management agent suggested. He’s actually been working on the house since we bought it, and once we knew weweregoing to relocate, he was even more proactive in the repair work.
At the same time, S contacted several moving companies for quotes. His multitasking skills and time management are amazing while I feel ashamed because I struggle with these. As soon as he finishes his last workday, he drives home for over eight hours, which can take even longer if there’s heavy traffic. No matter how late he gets in, usually around midnight, he still wakes up early the next morning to get started on his tasks. He keeps a to-do list and works hard to check off as many tasks as he can. I’m truly grateful for everything he does and so proud of him.
Back to the moving quotes, we were shocked when one estimate came in between $14,000 and $17,000. Well, with that amount, we could furnish our new house with all new stuff. Searching for more quotes, we eventually found the most affordable option at around $7,000. Yet, we aren’t sure about the final cost, as it will depend on the actual number of boxes to be moved. With this quote, we will leave the couch behind since it will cost $1,000 just to move it, and honestly, the couch is old enough to retire. We appreciate that S’s company will cover the moving costs, which is a huge help.
This won’t be our first move; we’ve relocated several times before. Therefore, I know what to expect and have an idea of the workload ahead. In the past, we did everything ourselves for relocation. Back then, we were young and full of energy. Now, we’re both physically and mentally drained, so hiring a moving company will give us some relief and peace of mind.
I’ve packed everything up, clearing out all the cabinets, drawers, storage areas, and closets, but I haven’t sealed the boxes yet. I keep them open in case I need to grab something or double-check items. I’ve packed some kitchen essentials and pantry goods and left a few items out for my daily routine. We’ve also donated several bags to a thrift store and thrown away items we no longer need. There are a few things I might post online to give away or sell for a little extra cash. I really dislike clutter, so I enjoy the process of decluttering, whether it’s through donating or tossing things out.
S, on the other hand, is completely different; he likes to keep everything, even items he hasn’t touched in years. I jokingly call him “S Đồng nát,” similar to “Ông Đồng nát” (for men) or “Bà Đồng nát” (for women) in Vietnamese, which refers to someone who makes a living by collecting junk to sell for money. Though S doesn’t sell anything, he deserves this nickname because of his “hoarding” habit.
Our two-car garage is full of the tools and various items I can’t even identify. But he’s a great packer. Everything in the garage was packed in just one afternoon. If it was me, it would have taken a week because I’m much slower and my packing process is very different. He just threw things into boxes until they were full, without worrying whether items were arranged properly or if the boxes were too heavy. He doesn’t care about organizing or categorizing for easier unpacking later on.
For me, packing is an opportunity to reorganize, recategorize, declutter, and clean, items. It also gives me a chance to evaluate whether I really need certain things, which is why my process is much slower than his. However, both methods have their advantages, and in many cases, I think his approach is more efficient and less overwhelming, especially when dealing with a great deal of stuff under time constraints.
After moving, we know there will be a lot of administrative work to take care of, like updating our address with the post office, DMV, utility providers, banks, insurance companies, and subscription services. Oh, we need to schedule dental and medical appointments too. It will take time before we can settle in.
While we’re apart, we spend our evenings chatting on the phone, and I usually read a book aloud for us. Currently, we’re reading The Heart of the Buddha’s Teaching by the late monk Thich Nhat Hanh. I understand the general concepts and feel the influence of Buddhism in my life, but I never actively sought out books on the subject. He’s the one who finds Buddhist books for us to explore together. Our spiritual journey is something special in our relationship, which depends our connection. I don’t know much about the religious aspects of Buddhism but we love its philosophy. I strongly believe daily Buddhist practice through mindfulness helps us find happiness, relief, and inner peace. We try to nourish gratitude, compassion, and patience in our lives. It’s not easy, but it’s a wonderful path to follow.
Overall, August began with an irreversible turning point for us, marking the ups and downs we’ve faced since then. We’ve done our best to keep everything on track. As a team, S’s our leader, captain, and navigator, while S, D, and I have one mission: to give him lots of our love and trust. We’re still on this challenging path, but we’ll be alright because he’s an expert builder. Never forget that, my man!
When we first moved into our home, there was a corner of our backyard leading to a side gate that remained untouched—a neglected area under a large tree where nothing seemed to grow. It wasn’t a priority for S to improve this space, so we left it alone.
Since the area was just a bare ground, I always avoided using that gate to minimize dirt and dust tracked into the house. However, that gate is S’s favorite entry, keeping the inside clean needed a lot of attention.
This area never got much sunlight, so planting anything there was out of the question. I also noticed some utility flags in the area, which made fixing up more complicated. We never really had a serious conversation about working on this area, but it was always on my mind that I wanted to do something about it.
From time to time, I considered a few ideas, like using gravels or pebbles, but those options weren’t right for us. Gravel would be difficult to maintain because the leaves from the big tree would be nearly impossible to clear. Pebbles may get slippery when it rains and could be dangerous. Pavers or concrete slabs were ruled out since S wanted to keep the area well-drained. Flagstones with rocks or gravels around the edges could be a good choice but again we had never seriously pursued it and it remained on my wishlist.
Then things changed. With S home more and us preparing to move and possibly rent out the place, we finally had a good reason to improve the area. But we were on a tight budget, and time was short.
At first, I thought about creating a pathway using flagstones, but I couldn’t quite figure out how to make it blend with the rest of the bare area. I tend to see things as a whole rather than in pieces, so I wanted something that would fit well. While brainstorming, I remembered how much I wanted a bench or a seating area around the tree. I started looking for photos of similar setups online, which sparked an idea: building a shallow deck.
Inspired, I shared the idea with him, and he got to work designing a deck that would be affordable, easy to build, and leave room for future improvements if we wanted to expand it later. He’s built decks before, so it didn’t take him long, especially since it was a small area.
We used leftover materials from previous projects, which kept the costs down. For the deck, we repurposed old bricks, originally used as a pathway that had become buried over time. S dug them out, laid them in rows to create a solid foundation for the wooden joists. While working, it started to rain, turning everything muddy, but he didn’t stop. That’s one of the things I respect most about him—his tenacity. Whether it’s raining or scorching hot, he works tirelessly to get things done.
We used a thick wood panel for the joists, which we got at a 70% discount because it was warped. To straighten it, he first hammered wooden wedges on each side of the joist before nailing planks in place.
Also, since we didn’t have enough joists as whole pieces, S joined short ones together. This isn’t ideal as a whole joist would be stronger but S made sure they were secured well.
It took him just over two and a half days to finish, including time to buy materials and figure out the details. The deck is small but it’s enough to solve the problem of needing a pathway while leaving room for future expansion. I had really wanted a pathway to address the dirt issue, but I ended up with a deck, far beyond my expectation. So pleased!
One of my favorite features of the deck is the small slopes he added at the ends. Initially, he used just one plank but the transition was quite abrupt. By adding a second one, the slope becomes more gradual, reducing the risk of trips and falls. Additionally, I love how he shaped the deck that followed the lines of the new flower bed and gate. It looks more integrated with the rest of the yard, rather than just being a plain rectangle or square.
We also decided to designate a spot on one side of the deck for the trash can, keeping it simple with just a foundation. With some extra wood, he built a bench, near the trash can. While it might be not ideal in terms of aesthetics or potential odors, adding a vertical panel in the future will help separate the two areas. Planting a bush or placing a flower planter next to the panel could keep the area looking vibrant and fresh. Personally, I don’t mind the trash can odors because I always try to keep everything, even the trash as clean as possible.
Previously, we built an edge for a flower bed using timbers, but it wasn’t really to plant flowers or trees—just to find a place for some leftover soil. However, we didn’t use much soil since the new bed didn’t need a lot as S didn’t want to affect drainage near the house. While it looks a bit empty now, I’m still happy. I love how contours enhance shapes and structures. Also, with generous mulch and the right plants, I’m sure the bed will look beautiful.
Overall, I think the total cost to fix up this area was around $800. This included leftover and new materials and accessories like timbers, lava rocks, mulch, planks, and more, which feels a bit pricey given the deck’s size. But it would have cost a lot more if we’d hired someone to do it.
You might wonder why we’re still working on the house when we’re about to leave. The truth is, it’s our home, and we’ve put so much effort into it since we moved in. Even though we won’t be here much longer, we still want to finish what we’ve always planned to do.
PS: I”ll update more once the deck and bench are stained and sealed, and the trash can spot is set up.
Since we’re probably going to move soon and S’s home now, we’ve been working on the house to get it ready for rent.
We started renovating the walk-in closet in the master bedroom. We are currently tight on time and budget, so we kept the project easy, simple, quick, and low-cost.
I’m mainly in charge of the closet—organizing and arranging everything—so I know how we want the space to be. I sketched out an initial design. S took all the ideas we discussed and created a detailed digital drawing.
We spent $60 on plywood, $20 on a metal pipe and $20 on rod hangers, that is pretty much all the cost. We already had lots of other materials from previous projects, like nails, paint, and trim wood. And since he’s an expert handyman – his words, we have all the tools needed.
The plywood, being a cheap material for shelves, however, had surface imperfections, so we filled holes and cracks with joint compound before painting. The edges of the plywood dividers weren’t attractive due to the visible layers, so we used trim to cover them to improve the appearance.
We used cream for shelves, white for the walls, and brown for the trim to create some contrast. Since white on the walls has different shades, there are some uneven colors on some spots. But those won’t be noticeable once the closet is going to be filled with clothes. Also, we are not going to stay here for long and our main goal was to use up the leftover paint, so we’re not too concerned about the unevenness.
Instead of buying a hanging rod, S chose a metal pipe and cut it to the required length. This saved us money, as the pipe was much cheaper than purchasing a pre-made hanging rod.
We repurposed trim to cover the edges of the plywood dividers. This trim, originally part of the house’s exterior boards, is very solid, and we’re pleased we didn’t waste it.
The top panel on the ceiling is actually a leftover panel from an overhang. We glued two panels together to fit the space we needed.
It took us 5 days to complete the project, but we only worked for a few hours each day since S was busy with other tasks.
We still haven’t built the storage boxes for the sides or developed the areas facing the central part of the closet. However, we decided to stop and focus on other priorities before we move. The closet is already looking nice and functional, and it’s a significant improvement over the original one we’ve had since we moved here.
I forgot to mention that I bought paintings from a thrift store for around $5 each. They match the color scheme of the closet and the rug. Also, I love the colorful rug squares that I bought two years ago on Google Shopping. I recall getting a great deal on them, and the quality is excellent.
With the closet complete, we can move on to the next tasks we want to touch up around the house before our move. Our current situation is unexpected but it’s understandable given life’s unpredictability. I hope our journey will go smoothly, that we can keep things under control, and that we end up in a place where we can build a peaceful and stable life.
Check our detailed closet renovation below:
Day 1:
Day 2:
Day 3:
Day 4:
Day 5:
Update: I double-checked the price of the metal pipe, and it was $40, not $20. It’s not cheaper than pre-made hanging rods that S told me about.
On the day of our visit to Bat Trang Pottery Museum, I was tired because I slept late the night before. I was in a rush to get to the museum, and forgot my phone and wallet. I had to borrow money from my friend, KA to cover the taxi and everything else during the visit.
The museum has a distinctive design, resembling a group of pottery wheels. The building features the walls with an undulating, wave-like pattern that mimics the smooth curves of pottery being shaped. This is enhanced by the earthy brown color of the walls, like the natural hue of clay, which adds a touch of raw authenticity. This color complements the stonish gray tiles in the front courtyard, creating a harmonious and soothing atmosphere, ideal for a ceramics & pottery museum. The overall design offers a cozy and welcoming environment for visitors.
The first floor is an array of shops displaying and selling a variety of ceramic products and knick-knacks, including vases, cups, decorative pieces and artistic sculptures. The ceramics are beautifully crafted with intricate and delicate details. Prices are reasonable as well.
After exploring the shops, we moved to the second floor, which serves as the museum’s main center. This floor is divided into areas with different focuses. One highlights artistic pottery works, while another showcases the evolution of pottery production. This section allows visitors to observe the changes in colors, techniques, and shapes in making pottery across different periods, providing insight into the development and characteristics of pottery throughout history. The last space details the pottery-making process. Here, you can see traditional tools used in pottery, remnants of products tested for color, and patterns and statues depicting various stages of pottery creation, such as throwing, glazing, and molding.
On the third floor, we explored the light sculpture art exhibit. This section features handcrafted wood in various shapes and forms, illuminated to highlight famous Vietnamese individuals who have made significant contributions to the nation’s development. Additionally, there is a sculpture created from recycled materials, designed to raise awareness about environmental protection and the importance of recycling. This piece, depicting a pregnant woman with her belly symbolizing the Earth, conveys a message about nurturing and protecting our planet. It emphasizes that, while waste can become mere trash, recycling of materials can turn them into something valuable.
On this floor, there is a small area selling small ceramic products and spiritual decorative items. I was particularly interested in some incense types. According to a staff member, these incense cone-shaped pieces are 100% natural and clean, made from wood particles ground into powder and mixed with glue. The type of wood used determines the aroma of the incense. They offer two types: one made from jade wood (gỗ Ngọc Am) and the other from agarwood (gỗ Trầm Hương). I had tried agarwood incense before, but the scent just didn’t do it for me, even though it’s considered valuable and popular. On the other hand, the jade wood incense smelled nice, but I didn’t end up buying it because it made too much smoke, which was hard for me to enjoy and relax. I also considered buying an artistic incense holder. It was beautiful, but the design was impractical, as the holder was quite deep, making it inconvenient to place the incense cone inside.
Next, we went to the fifth floor, where people expect to experience a serene environment while having tea, but we were quite disappointed when we arrived. The whole space is open, except for a small area, about 6.5 feet deep where shoes are required to be removed at the door. I didn’t bother taking mine off since I could see everything clearly from the entrance. The area has a meditative vibe, featuring decorative items, crafted objects, and artistic pieces arranged to create a calming atmosphere. However, there wasn’t anything particularly special about it. It feels more like a decorative setup than a real tea-serving space. I did like the vase of lotus flowers at the entrance, though. The tea-serving experience was quite disappointing. It felt rushed because the staff offered us tea as soon as we arrived, before we even had a chance to settle in. No one offered us a second serving. It was more like a tea tasting than an actual tea service. Additionally, there was a small stall selling tea and spiritual products. I did purchase a bag of special black tea with ginseng essence. It was much more expensive than regular types of tea, but I accepted it as part of the experience during our visit.
We quickly left the tea space and headed to the restaurant on the fourth floor to have lunch. We ordered fried water spinach, fried tofu in soy sauce and green onions, a bowl of rice, dried bamboo shoot and squid soup (a specialty of both the restaurant and the pottery village), and meat sausage in lolot leaves (Lá lốt). I really enjoyed the meal; everything was so delicious. We also ordered spring rolls. The dishes were served generously and abundantly, and three of us couldn’t finish all the food. I think we only ate about a third of the meal. I could’ve eaten a lot more but I wasn’t in the mood for food that day. Anyway, one ordering tip there is to ask for half portions. You don’t have to order a whole dish, as one portion is quite generous and plentiful.
The coffee and ice cream space is located in an open area right next to the restaurant. I initially wanted coffee, but the variety of ice cream flavors looked so tempting that I decided to go for ice cream instead. I got three scoops: Thai tea, matcha, and rum raisin, and that was the minimum order. Although I loved it, I couldn’t eat a lot at once.
We spent about 15 minutes there before quickly moving to the basement to enjoy a hands-on experience with pottery. First, we watched an educational video on how to craft pottery. After that, we were instructed to wear an apron and showed our tickets at the counter. The staff then gave us some clay to start our experience. I decided to try making a cup, but it turned out to be much more challenging than I had expected. My hands got very messy, and I struggled to shape the clay the way I wanted. Feeling tired and losing focus, I didn’t want to continue. A staff member came over to help, and with his assistance, I finally managed to create a cup that was ready to be painted. There are two options for painting your product. If you just dry it, you can paint it with regular materials. However, if you choose to fire your product, different materials will be used to glaze it. This option requires an extra fee and a waiting period of about two weeks for the product to be shipped.
When we moved to the painting area, I felt kind of worn out just looking at the cup. I couldn’t think of any initial idea, so I just painted “tired” on it with a yawning mouth and sleepy eyes. The cup looked ugly. Seeing my friend patiently painting a flower on her cup, I decided to cover up what I had painted earlier, which felt negative. I used three different colors—brown, green, and earthy orange — and brushed and mixed them on the cup. This way, I didn’t have to think too much about the design or worry about details. I quickly painted some flowers, using broad strokes to suggest their shapes rather than carefully drawing each petal. In the end, my cup didn’t turn out too bad. It looked quite artistic to me.
In this area, I also bought a necklace for my mom. According to the staff, the beads are glazed using a special firing technique that will create different tones and patterns at different temperatures. I’m not sure of the exact name of the enamel, but I think it’s called “Men hỏa biến.” The necklace looks okay, but I think it would look much better if the entire string was covered with small beads. With only a bit more than half of the necklace covered, the string is left exposed. However, given the small payment, I guess that’s all I could expect. I also got sweet butter popcorn, which was great. I really love this snack. Unlike in the US, salted butter popcorn is much more common and easier to find.
I enjoyed the visit because I love ceramics and pottery. The museum’s design is impressive; the history and development of pottery are cool; the food is delicious and reasonably priced and the pottery-making experience is fun. Tickets are available at various prices; we chose the most expensive one, VND198,000 ($7.83) per person, which includes access to all areas and the pottery-making experience. However, the museum is pretty small, so there isn’t much to see. Also, I really think the space about the history and development of pottery production is the the most valuable part worth the fee. Additionally, the museum is located quite far from Hanoi’s center, making transportation inconvenient. Traditional taxis are expensive but seem to be the most readily available option. I didn’t see any motorbike taxis (xe ôm), and booking a ride through an app like Grab took forever. Public transportation is an option, I have never tried it though.
In summary, if you don’t mind the small size of the museum, and are interested in ceramic products and the culture of ceramic production, it’s definitely worth a visit. You can learn about the culture, see a lot of ceramic products, and buy them at reasonable prices, all in one place without having to travel far. Also, the nearby traditional pottery market is another great spot to check out.
– Life is so unpredictable. There are unexpected turning points that might change one’s life completely. She’s at a major juncture. Scary.
– A domino effect can start with the fall of just one small piece.
– Let pray. The Higher Powers will guide you through.
– In her fear, she prays for love, forgiveness, health, safety, and enlightenment…. She does this every day.
– In the darkest moments of misery and fear, she realized she’s not alone. She’s received more love & care than she could have ever expected.
– Being nice and being kind are different.
– I love and miss you, Grandma. So much! I wish to see you in my dreams.
– Mom, I love you! I’m so lucky and happy to be your daughter. Thank you for everything you’ve done for me. My most peaceful nights are those when I was with you, holding you as I slept. My life felt abundant, carefree and protected when I was with you.
– Sis, your care and protection have touched my heart. I’m so grateful.
– She doesn’t want to be weak but she’s cried. Oh shit, she needs to love herself. No fucking one has the right to steal her joy.
While looking for something to do to beat boredom, my friend suggested we watch the Quintessence of Tonkin show, and I immediately agreed. We were picked up at 5:30 PM and spent 45 minutes on the bus to get there.
The venue has two main areas: the performance space, which was closed until the show started, and an open market area called “Chợ Quê,” resembling a traditional market with stalls selling Vietnamese foods and snacks. There, we were treated to a complimentary traditional Vietnamese family meal, which included boiled water spinach, clear soup (water from boiling the spinach), fried tilapia fish, and fermented eggplants. Had I known about this market, I might have skipped this free meal, which wasn’t entirely free as it required a minimum purchase of four tickets. The market used with coupons instead of cash. I bought five coupons, each worth 20,000 VND, but later realized it would have been better to buy coupons of different values since you don’t get change for cheaper items. I bought steamed sweet potatoes, garlic butter bread, and green tea. The sweet potatoes were good, but the bread was disappointing—dry and made with margarine instead of butter. The meal area also had a stage where artists performed traditional singing, dancing, and acting, showcasing typical Vietnamese culture.
When the show was about to start, we lined up for check-in.
The show offers three types of tickets: Platinum, Gold, and Regular. Platinum tickets are the most expensive and come with separate, premium seating at the back, which is covered and equipped with fans. Gold and Regular tickets have access to the same unnumbered seating area; the only advantage of Gold tickets is a closer entrance, giving holders a better chance to choose their seats first. We chose seats at the back, just behind the Platinum area, where we benefited from the breeze from the Platinum area’s fans, which was great on that hot, humid night.
As the name suggests, the show introduces core aspects of Vietnamese culture, specifically those of the Red River Delta, through scenes of daily life, music, paintings, and celebrations. It also illustrates the examination process for students, highlighting the celebration of the top scholar, and emphasizing the respect and significance of academic traditions. The show highlights Vietnamese cultural, spiritual, and religious elements, such as lotus flowers, Buddhism, the Female Goddess Worshipping (Đạo Mẫu), and puppetry. A notable feature of the show is the participation of a large number of performers, including local farmers and professional artists, performing on a large water stage set against the natural backdrop of Thầy Mountain and surrounded by bamboo trees. The stage creates a peaceful village scenery, harmoniously blending with the performance. Artistic lighting, music, and traditional instruments add excitement to the show.
Through the show, audiences gain an understanding of how closely Vietnamese culture is tied to agricultural activities like rice planting and fishing. Real buffaloes, boats, and traditional farming tools on stage vividly represent the daily work of farmers. The show also offers insight into Vietnamese art through folk songs, traditional musical instruments, and Đông Hồ paintings – folk art known for their handcrafted prints, created using carved wooden blocks.
While I found the show interesting, it didn’t leave a deep impression because it was hard to identify standout moments. The show lasts only 45 minutes, making it difficult to explore each aspect in depth. As a Vietnamese, I found it challenging to fully grasp the aspects presented, so it might be even more confusing for foreigners, especially since the show is entirely in Vietnamese, except for a brief introduction on a projector. While the show aims to convey a sense of peace and simplicity, I personally found it rather sad. The depiction of a life with few comforts and limited entertainment made me reflect more on past struggles than on the intended tranquility and artistic beauty. The performers’ costumes in muted colors, the dark night setting with glimpses of light, folk songs, traditional music, and the lack of modern elements evoked a nostalgic and somewhat melancholic feeling about past hardships. The buffaloes brought on the stage, however, looked so healthy and well-fed that they seemed to be living a good life – an amusing contrast to the humble farmers.
Another downside was the weather. It was extremely hot and humid, making it uncomfortable, especially for someone like me who sweats easily. We sweated a lot during dinner, so I recommend checking the weather and choosing a cooler day to attend the show. Also, it’s better to use the transportation included in the ticket price instead of going on your own. The food there is typical Vietnamese, including noodle soups and Vietnamese crepes, but you might want to bring your own food if you prefer Western options.
In general, the show was an interesting experience, but it left me feeling sad about people’s harsh and dull life back then, rather than the peacefulness and relaxation the shows aims to convey. Or it might be that because I was feeling unhappy, it was hard for me to see the show in a more positive light.
Before the trip to Sam Son Beach, I had a rough week with my mind busy with the IVF cycle. I was worried about my future, feeling trapped and unable to focus on anything else. It felt like I was wasting my life, stuck in a rut where each day passed futilely. I wanted to change but felt so demotivated. Fortunately, making a to-do list helped; it gave me something to look forward to.
Thinking about how enthusiastic my mom was for the vacation, I decided to buy her a new bathing suit and scarf. She loves being photographed, and the scarf would be a versatile accessory for different looks and poses. My sister had intended to take Mom shopping for clothes because she was worried about finding the right fit without trying them on. However, my mom wasn’t up for it, thinking it wasn’t necessary since she hardly ever goes to the beach and could just use her old one. I still wanted to surprise her. I went to a shop and quickly picked out a V-neck bathing suit in a rich reddish-brown and a floral scarf. The suit comes to about mid-thigh and features modern patterns. Unlike me, my sister is very picky when it comes to selecting clothes. She can try on 10 or more items and still not find anything she likes, while I’m quite unfussy. I can quickly choose the pieces I like and adjust them if needed. I believe any problem can be solved. Additionally, shopping is easier for me because my style is different from hers. I prefer loose, comfortable clothes that don’t require strict measurements. I also know which styles, patterns, prints, materials, and forms suit me well.
My mom was very pleased with the new set, especially the scarf, after I showed her different ways to style it. Initially, she thought the scarf was too big and wasn’t sure how to use it. A few hours before we set off, my mom still walked to the market looking for a top to match her skirt and sunglasses to hide her eye wrinkles, but she didn’t have any luck. It’s wonderful that at 70, she still looks attractive and maintains her appearance so well. I’m not sure I want to see the photos of myself when I’m older as I doubt I’ll look as vibrant as she does at her age, even well before I reach that age.
One day before the trip, I visited a Chinese horoscope reader with a friend. Although I’d heard about her a while ago, I hadn’t thought much about it until my IVF concerns drove me to seek some insight. The visit was disappointing. I couldn’t provide an exact birth time, only an estimated range between the Tiger and Cat hours, but she immediately concluded I was born in the Tiger hour. I hoped she would have used both potential birth hours to offer more accurate insights. She asked several yes-or-no questions to validate her readings. I then told her I wanted insights into my motherhood and marriage. It was no surprise when she quickly highlighted the problems she assumed I was having. Well, it’s not unusual for some psychics to magnify problems to make clients feel vulnerable and reliant on their guidance, but, I didn’t realize that during the visit. She emphasized I might face a divorce, and to prevent this, I needed to prepare for a ritual involving both a symbolic divorce and remarriage. She also pointed out that my bedroom was located above the kitchen, which was bad; I should move to a room on the same floor but across from the kitchen. For fertility, she instructed me to put a totem of a buffalo with a child riding it on the headboard; obtain a piece of a nail and a strand of hair from a child in a family with several children, and put them in seven gourd-shaped bottles (Hồ Lô). Moreover, she advised using various types of crystals somewhere in the room. Finally, she guided me to have my mom place red roses and some stuff on the altar and pray to the female goddess for support.
What she said seemed odd, but as someone seeking insights, I listened quietly. She then handed me a bag for the items. Without questioning whether I really wanted them, I just asked the price and paid her, though, very soon after, I had a gut feeling something was off. I tend to respond slowly when caught off guard. If she’d asked, “Do you want them?” I might’ve said no. Instead, she acted like she was giving me instructions I had to follow. At that time, I didn’t realized she was selling me Feng Shui items. I had never expected to encounter that at a psychic reading. How naive or silly I was!
Upon leaving the psychic’s house, my friend pointed at a fancy house across the street and mentioned that it also belonged to her. She explained that the psychic still works in the old, rundown house since it’s brought her good luck with money, and she wants to maintain that fortune. This experience made it clear to me how lucrative this type of business can be. Within half an hour, the psychic could earn much more than a high-paid medical professor or academic. Well, it’s difficult to compare earnings across different fields, I just don’t feel that her knowledge, values, or experience justify the amount of money she charged. It seems that she’s more skilled in business than in psychic work. Though the reading isn’t a pleasant experience, but it has taught me a lesson to always consider carefully before making a decision.
Later, I stopped at a restaurant for meatball noodle soup (Bún Mọc) and lemon tea. The soup was good, and the tea was perfect. I liked its bold tea flavor, unlike the other experience I had before, which tasted like lemonade. Next, I went for a walk to exercise on the way to LoBi cafe. I had never gone to this place but its spacious and inviting appearance captured my attention.
I ordered “Nâu nóng” (Vietnamese traditional hot coffee with condensed milk), as usual, and enjoyed my “me time” there. Half an hour later, a group of young guys came in and sat at a table next to me. They did a tarot reading. The man doing the reading seemed like a perfect match for the job. His manner, voice and tone reflect a flexible gender, which reminded me of fortune tellers or ritual hosts I saw in Vietnamese movies. Watching him inspired me to ask him for one myself. I thought this coincidence might have been the Universe’s way of answering my nightly questions. He agreed to the reading, and though it was fun, it didn’t provide much insight. I gave him a small amount of money to thank him for his time and left the cafe, buying a cup of tiramisu and a brownie for my mom, and a fried sticky rice ball for my dad. I also bought crispy roast pork but didn’t eat it as I had planned for dinner and a movie with my cousin.
She picked me up, and we went to Vincom Plaza. It was quiet, with only a few restaurants open. We had dinner at Alfredo; I had pumpkin and Tom Yum Thai soups, and she had deep-fried chicken and a platter of appetizers.
The soups helped with my jittery feeling from earlier coffee. We browsed the plaza and stopped by Annam Gourmet, a premium store known for its high-quality imported and local products. We picked up dried kumquat and rose apples (called “Mận” in the South or “Roi” in the North.)
They are naturally sweet and retain their true flavors but might be too sugary for some. We watched “Despicable Me 4,” an animated movie about Gru and his family. Gru’s old rival, Maxime Le Mal, seeks revenge and plans to kidnap Gru’s son. To protect his family, Gru relocates them to Mayflower under new identities. The movie centers on Gru’s battle with Maxime, with the help of whimsical and super-powered Mega Minions. It was fun, full of humor and clever antics that kept us laughing and feeling young. It provided a delightful and relaxing escape.
Overall, though I still couldn’t find answers for my concerns through psychic readings, I felt blessed by the experiences of the day.
Begin life at forty 