Daily routine – Such a rough day!

Thursday, 1/22/2026, to do:

• feed M breakfast
• have breakfast (boiled egg & sweet potatoes)
• put the dishes away
• do the laundry
• make the dental payment
• tidy up, vacuum & mop the downstairs
• clean the car trunk

5:33 pm, it’s not easy to be a mother. I felt anger boiling in my stomach when I tried again and again to feed M. He suddenly didn’t want to eat anything else, except breastmilk, which I knew was too little to him. My whole day was a repetition of trying and failing, filled with frustration about the situation and MYSELF. I knew I was frustrated and stubborn but it was too difficult to calm down and let go right in that moment.

He threw up all the little he has just eaten. I didn’t have the energy to battle anymore, just silently clean the mess. I didn’t even bother texting S back after his message that he was on the way home. When he came home, he looked for sth to eat. Nothing ready. In the pantry or the fridge. I felt bad because I knew he had skipped lunch and was hungry. It was the same feeling I had when I thought about MK earlier. It’s been a few days since I last texted her. But quickly, I reflected on myself. All I’ve had today was one boiled egg, some sweet potatoes, and instant noodles. I didn’t have the time and the mood to cook a proper meal for myself. And about MK, she knows nothing about how much I’ve been through since she decided to be silent. I need to think about myself and take care of myself. I’ve been having such a rough day.

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