4/8: Chores
Cleaned the shared bathroom, the half bathroom and Sam’s litter box.
Did the laundry, washed a shower curtain and bathroom mats, changed hand and face cloths.
Mopped the bathrooms and the MF room.
Cooked chili, put the dishes away and refilled the soap dispenser.
4/10: Chores and abdomen ultrasound
Went to Walmart, got groceries, put them in the fridge & the pantry.
Put rice into containers for storage.
Cooked rice soup with the leftover rice stuck to the cooker’s bottom. Cleaned the kitchen and put away the dishes.
Took supplements, went to the IVF clinic to get a specimen cup.
4/11: Chores
Filled out a passport application.
Did the laundry and dried it.
Ironed shirts.
Cooked oysters and chili soup for dinner.
Fed pets.
Put away the dishes and cleaned the kitchen.
4/12: Chores and passport application appointment schedule
Woke up feeling anxious about submitting the passport application, took a shower and got dressed to head out to take passport photos and go to a passport agent. Disliked paperwork stuff like this, but knew had to get it done. At the post office, a staff member told that I had to make an appointment online. Made an appointment for the next day at another location. Booked a photo service slot too, felt relieved. Went back home, unloaded and loaded the dishwasher, vacuumed the master room and changed bed sheets.
4/13: Chores, passport application submission and bonus letter
Checked the leftover IVF medications and informed the nurse for prescription.
Cleaned the dirty vacuum cleaner by removing debris and dust from the compartments and washing the filter.
Hung up new bedroom curtains and did the laundry.
Unloaded and loaded dishwasher and cleaned kitchen.
Cooked dinner including soup made from chili, rice, stewed potatoes and carrots, fresh tomatoes, green beans, sausages, crawfish, milk, and cheese with cayenne pepper to spice it up; fried noodles with milk, parmesan cheese, onion, and green mix topped with stewed chicken.
Got the passport photo taken and submitted the application. Paid $130 application fee by check to the US Dept. of State & $35 execution fee by credit card to the post office. The application process will take longer than expected, bout 10-13 wks instead of 4-6 wks. The submission time was quick and straightforward anyway, only ~15 mins. Felt relieved to have it done.
S forwarded me a letter from the manager, granting him a bonus for outstanding performance. The letter was filled with generous compliments. I teased S that the letter seemed to have been dipped in sugar, honey, syrup, fruit jelly, milk and banana smoothie. Could tell how happy he was.
4/14: Chores and definition of “fresh”
Cleaned Sam’s litter box.
Made meatloaf with a side dish of butter-fried green mix and pan-fried potatoes for S’s dinner and cut oranges for dessert.
Put the dishes away and loaded the dishwasher.
Fed Dozer and Sam.
Steamed fresh shrimp bought from a local store and boiled the shrimp heads to use later. Interesting to see how Americans define “fresh” in seafood which means “never previously frozen”, whereas in Vietnam, it means “alive and swimming”. I had never bought dead shrimp when I lived there. But wild-caught shrimp is very common in the US, which is probably why it’s harder to keep it alive at the time of sale.
4/16: Painting “Lover”, Canh and Theralogix order
I took a shower, dressed up in a favorite black loose silk-like dress shirt, tied a 2-inch red belt around the waist, paired it with cream black snake print block heel sandals and accessorized with a casual red bag.
We went to a museum and saw an oil painting called “Lover”. The painting depicted a scrawny man lying on his right side on the ground, the feet together, the right elbow above his head, the left hand resting on the right hand. His face was buried in his right arm. Told S that I didn’t see a relation between the painting & the “Lover” subject. No love, intimacy, bonding, or happiness. Then, he said, “He has a broken heart.” Such an A-ha moment! Yes, it could be a lover going through a breakup or in a distressed relationship or suffering a tragic loss of his beloved.
We went home and I cooked “Canh”, a traditional Vietnamese soup, using shrimp broth. The broth was simply water used to steam shrimp and the juice from the shrimp blended into the water, giving the broth a naturally sweet and appealing red-orange color. Added mixed greens and sprinkled some garlic salt for flavor. Voila, it was ready to eat. “Canh” is a staple in daily meals of Vietnamese people. It’s not thick or creamy, but rather has a great amount of liquid. It can be made by simply using water after boiling vegetables with a few grains of salt. Lemon juice can be added after Canh is cooked to make it more appetizing. It can also be a complicated dish that is time-consuming and has a lot of ingredients. We eat “Canh” together with rice and other foods because its fluid and flavor balanced out the dryness of other dishes, making them easier to eat. For the type of “Canh” that’s simply water that has been used to boil vegetables, it serves not only as a dish but traditionally as a light and refreshing drink throughout our meals.
My supplement order was declined last week because my health debit card didn’t have enough money. The lady taking care of my order didn’t tell me the payment didn’t go through. Successfully updated the order with a different cardbut the waiting time would be longer, instead of 7-10 business days as usual. I have replacement prenatal vitamins and fish oil while waiting for the order to be delivered. But honestly, the quantity of vitamins and minerals in one dose of Theralogix supplements is much better than that in the similar over-the-counter ones. I should’ve ordered them, especially Ovasitol, over a month ago. However, at that time, I just went through a failed treatment and was taking a break before doing the next round. I just didn’t want to think of IVF or anything else related. I was kind of in a “let it go, let it be” attitude. Plus, I was somehow disappointed and lost hope that expensive quality medications would help. But now, with my next round coming up soon, my mind was reminded to get back to the journey with attention and focus.
S rarely sleeps straight through the night. He goes to bed ~9 PM, wakes up ~11 PM, eats cookies, ice cream, or chips to fall back asleep. Then sleeps for few hours until 4:20 AM when he wakes up for work. It’s been going on for months, and it really worries me about his health. I suggested he read a book because he doesn’t enjoy it, which I thought might help him fall asleep quickly. However, he insisted nacks help him fall back asleep, but it never works. The same pattern leads to the same result – His sleep is still on and off but his belly is rounder and higher.
4/16: Cut S’s hair and dinner at Carrabba
I had never thought I would be the one cutting S’s hair one day. It all started when we moved to a mesa at a high altitude of 7000 feet, and it was difficult for S to find a salon that had appointments that fits his work schedule. So, he asked me to cut his hair. I purchased a haircut kit from Walmart for a few dollars and started watching instructional videos on YouTube. At first, his haircuts were not too bad, but it would take me forever to finish. S encouraged me to use an electric shaver to make the work easier, but I was too lazy to learn how to use it, and still am. So, I still use the same scissors and combs I purchased at Walmart, and they work perfectly. Since I started cutting S’s hair before the COVID lockdowns began, our routine was not impacted when salons had to close due to the pandemic. S is always pleased with his new haircut, and he never intends to visit a salon again.
Later, we went to Carrabba, our favorite Italian restaurant for dinner and on the way, I saw a hand-written message on an equipment box that said “I’m fucking hungry”, which made me feel sorry for the person who wrote it. It made me feel grateful for the blessings that I have in my life. Back home, listened to acid jazz. The melody and beats were so captivating and sexy. Felt unwind and relaxed.
4/17: How to wear a car key avoid looking like you’re showing off
Made coffee and prepared lunch for S with Italian leftovers.
Had a morning checkup with a specialist doctor.
Returned a plastic garden edging roll at Home Depot.
Headed Publix for clam chowder soup and baby tomatoes.
Did the laundry and cooked oyster soup, butter-sauteed kale, and shrimp for S’s dinner and oranges as dessert.
Ironed shirts and did personal care.
Unloaded and loaded the dishwasher, ran it and cleaned the kitchen.
While I was browsing Vietnamese news, I came across an amusing title that caught my attention. It was about how to wear a car key so that people don’t think you’re showing off. Although I didn’t read the article, I found the comments interesting, particularly one that said people who wear car keys to belts aren’t rich but rather taxi drivers, shippers, or truck drivers who use cars to earn money. Another comment mentioned how placing car keys on the table during a business meeting or a date indirectly tells people about your wealth because you don’t drive a motorbike.
4/18: Chores
Forgot to wear a mask when I dropped off the specimen collection cup at the clinic as I was nervous and in a hurry to be on time due to the limited amount of time for specimen delivery. Hoped that the allergies wouldn’t bother me too much tonight. I’m tired of sneezing, having a runny nose, and taking pills for it. Did some chores after taking supplements including cutting pineapples up to store in the fridge. I bought them on sale for only 99 cents each. Bananas were overripe, didn’t want to throw them away, so I mashed them in a pan with some butter until they turned into a paste. Banana paste is delicious either on its own or when it is mixed with other ingredients. The best combinations for it are with milk and yogurt or with oatmeal and nuts. Yum!.
4/19: Chores and black tea
Sleepy, procrastinated to do chores, drank coffee, had breakfast: ultimate sub, banana paste smoothie with milk and yogurt and took morning supplements.
Loaded the dishwasher.
Cleaned the living room, vacuumed the couch and dining chairs.
Wiped down the kitchen cabinets and appliances.
Ran the dryer, and took trash out.
Changed hand and face cloths.
Made black tea: boiled 1200ml water to 212F, added 3 tbsp loose leaf tea, brewed for 5 mins, put 3 tbsp sugar in a glass bottle, poured the tea water in, let it cool, then refrigerated.
Served S dinner with chilli soup, green beans, meatloaf sub, leftover BBQ pork and ppineapple.
Took PM supplements, unloaded and loaded the dishwasher and cleaned Sam’s litter box.
Found an empty container of peanut butter cookies on the coffee table, surprised that S had found it though I had put it in the freezer, instead of the pantry to prevent S from snacking late at night.
4/20: Chores and Theralogix supplement temperature tolerance
Drank coffee, had breakfast & took morning supplements.
Unloaded & loaded the dishwasher.
Swept & washed the porches.
Cleaned Sam’s litter box.
Made black tea.
Ate French bread w/ condensed milk. It used to be a luxurious, fancy breakfast that I was always excited to have when I was a kid. I still love this treat as much as I did back then.
Cooked steak, green beans & red potatoes for S’s dinner.
My Theralogix supplements were delivered at the front porch but I didn’t know while the temperature outside was quite hot. Checked its website and was relieved to know the products were tested and guaranteed stable at the temperatures of 104°F (40°C) +/- 35°F (2°C) and relative humidity of 75% +/- 5%.
4/21: Chores and vegetable soup
Cleaned the double side door using glass cleaner and all-purpose spray.
Cleaned big carpets with foam spray and vacuumed them.
Swept, sucked, and blew leaves and debris off the driveway and the pathway, wore a mask to reduce exposure to dust and allergies.
Made vegetable soup using frozen veggies, fresh celery, tomatoes, and chili. I boiled it for 30 minutes on low heat with 2.5 cups of water and 0.5 cups of milk. Before finishing, added kale to prevent it from being overcooked. If you like cheese, you could add some mozzarella, or if you’re craving carbs, serving it with elbow noodles is also a great option.
4/22: Tired of chores, Love culture
Fried rice with lard and fish sauce – a childhood favorite food of mine.
Ran the dishwasher.
Ran the dryer and the washing machine.
Folded another load of clothes, felt tired of household chores.
Went to Rouses.
Stopped by Walgreens for Excedrin and prescription.
Decluttered MF room by sorting papers and putting them in proper places, throwing away paper trash, and organizing personal things.
Still had a lot of things to do, and it felt like the endless cycle of chores was never-ending. As soon as I finish cleaning one task, it promptly finds its way back onto my to-do list.
I had a thought about a cultural difference in a romantic relationship. In my culture, it’s common for a man to offer or insist on helping his girlfriend, e.g. carrying stuff for her or going to her house even when it is raining and she already refuses. It’s seen as a sign of gallantry and decisiveness. However, in a Western culture, respecting a person’s autonomy is important, and it could be seen annoying or offensive to push someone to accept help if they don’t want it.
4/23: Chores, grocery shopping and toy for Sam
Woke up feeling low, had coffee and breakfast with 2 fried eggs and sweet potatoes, and took supplements.
Went to Walmart and 2 Vietnamese stores to buy groceries.
Put away groceries and reorganized the pantry.
Did the laundry, ran the dishwasher, and made black tea.
The Vietnamese grocery store I frequently visit has expanded into a much larger area. The owner rented the space next to their store, which used to be a seafood restaurant. The expanded store is filled with all kinds of products, from fresh produce and dry goods to snacks, drinks, and kitchen accessories, placed neatly on the shelves. Next to it are a bubble tea store and a Vietnamese restaurant which I guess belong to the same owner. They must be doing really well because with the expanded space, the store is now the largest Vietnamese one in town, making it difficult for other similar stores to compete.
Since I bought Sam 2 replacement pads for his favorite toy today, they reminded me how lucky I am to have found the Morovilla Turbo Scratcher. Its design is so simple but so wonderful. It’s a plastic round base with a white ball which will spin in the channel when your cat shoves it with its paw. In the center, there’s a thick carton pad for scratching. The Turbo is everything to Sam. He rests on it, plays with the ball by shoving and catching it, and scratches it several times per day. I’ve been worry-free about him scratching the carpets or the couch since I bought him the first Turbo four years ago. One amazing thing about the toy is that the scratching pad is replaceable. When it wears out, I just flip it over and it looks new again. I only replace the pad when both sides are heavily scratched. Also, playing with the ball is like an exercise for Sam which helps him improve his reflexes and hand-eye coordination.
4/24: Dinner gathering
Cooked spring rolls, Bún Chả, Thịt Kho tàu, baby clam salad (Gỏi Hến xào) with Vietnamse crackers and banana flower and beef salad (Gỏi Hoa chuối) to welcome S’s co-worker coming over for dinner.
I made spring rolls by wrapping the mixture of ground pork, fresh needle mushroom, pounded shrimp, chopped onion, black fungi, carrot, glass noodles, salt and pepper in a rice paper, forming it into a small-rectangular shape. I really don’t understand why rice papers though they were made in Vietnam are very thick, hard and chewy, completely different from the ones sold in Vietnam which I remembered were thin and very crispy. I had to use a trick by brushing the outer side of the rice paper with water and the other side with beaten egg. It worked pretty well but still wasn’t crispy enough. Next time, I’ll try by brushing it with just egg.
Bún Chả was good. I chose pork shoulder as it had a proportionate ratio of fat and meat, perfect for grilling. I wished I could find boneless pork shoulder as the meat would be more tender but I was tired of driving between stores to look for perfect ingredients I needed. I cut it into 1/8 inch thick slices and marinated them with crushed garlic, onions, lemon grass, garlic salt and pepper, mushroom extract seasoning and a touch of Mam tom (fish paste). Left it overnight and then pan-fried for 7 minutes at different temperatures. In Vietnam, meat is cooked on a steel net rack placed over a small charcoal stove, giving it a more flavorful grilled aroma.
Baby clam salad was a disappointment. The clams had a strange texture and a strong, unpleasant smell. I think it was a mistake to mix them with pineapple, which made them mushy. Previously, I mixed clams with mango and mint and it was perfect. Actually, pineapple can go well with baby clams as long as you leave them separate and combine them only when you eat. But I know Americans don’t like food that requires them to do extra work, like putting a little bit of this and that together for each bite. That’s why I mixed everything together beforehand.
Banana flower and beef salad was good for my Asian taste but the sauce might have been too strong for S and his co-worker. The sauce was a mixture of fish sauce, sugar, lemon, red peppers, garlic and ginger and no water was added to preserve its bold flavor.
Thịt Kho tàu was the best. I stewed pork belly in coconut juice, soy sauce, sugar and caramel with pepper seeds and red peppers. Served with sticky rice.
I thought my salads were an unpleasant experience for both S and his co-worker. I would not take risks next time.
Begin life at forty 
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