Selling my faithful old car, my companion from my novice driving days, brought back a wave of memories about my early driving lessons.
During my years in Vietnam, my primary mode of transportation was a scooter. I never considered myself a proficient driver, and I had a limited understanding of traffic laws, with my knowledge mostly limited to recognizing traffic lights. My indifference to these regulations stemmed from the fact that the scooter was merely a means of getting from one place to another. My driving skills were entirely based on intuition, honed through years of familiarity with scooters to the extent that it became a second nature skill. I couldn’t even recall how I initially learned to ride a motorbike.
When it came to driving a car, I faced considerable challenges. I had never considered driving a car before, and the thought of it was daunting. However, since I moved to the US where cars are the main transportation vehicle, I had to learn how to drive a car, a gateway to freedom. DR volunteered to be my instructor, and we began practicing in a nearby parking lot. This allowed me to become acquainted with the steering wheel, brake, accelerator, as well as various driving modes. DR also taught me how to use and adjust mirrors. To improve my parking skills, he even bought traffic cones to help me practice.
After several weeks of practice in the safe area, I started driving onto local roads with his guidance. The slower speeds there eased my nervousness, but I remained terrified when it came to turning or changing lanes. I struggled with understanding traffic signs, road layouts, and right-of-way rules. The complex road systems, especially the multi-lane roads, left me bewildered.
Moreover, when other vehicles merged or turned into my lane, it added to my anxiety. I had a tendency to brake or slow down excessively as I was so scared that they would pass by me or show up right in front of me suddenly. This was a habit influenced by the driving culture I was accustomed to in Vietnam, where drivers often behaved with little regard for traffic laws. They went, stopped, sped up, slowed down, or changed lanes at their convenience without considering other drivers.
As for changing or merging lanes, I found it particularly challenging, as it required simultaneous attention to driving, monitoring surroundings, checking mirrors, and turning the head. The fear, nervousness, and anxiety associated with being new to driving, my unfamiliarity with the car, and adjusting to a different driving culture sometimes left me feeling “paralyzed.” There were moments when I successfully managed tricky situations, but it felt like a feat I couldn’t quite comprehend.
My driving lessons with DR continued for about six months while S instructed me twice. However, he was strictly critical, which led to tense lessons and heated arguments. I was disappointed and even hated him. I didn’t want to talk or see him the day after the second lesson. Then, S arranged a professional instructor to provide me with ten lessons. The lessons with the instructor were not particularly memorable, except for one tip about positioning the car further to the right when waiting to make a right turn. But hiring a professional instructor increased S’s trust in my driving skills, which helped reduce his anxiety when accompanying me afterwards. He sacarstically said, “From now on, I won’t need to wear diapers when I’m in your car’s passenger seat.”
S did, however, offer amazing driving tips. First, he taught me how to merge onto the highway safely. According to him, I should drive steadily on the merging lane. When my vehicle aligned with the road, checked the rearview mirror for vehicles approaching from the highway, then glanced at the side mirror to assess the lane I was merging into. Finally, I had to quickly check the blind spot by looking through the back seat window on the merging side before confidently entering the highway. It sounds simple, but I’m still nervous when doing it, especially in heavy and fast-moving traffic and because knowing all the tips doesn’t mean I am automatically an expert driver. However, this technique has significantly enhanced my confidence in handling challenging situations.
Another tip from S improved my turning onto the main road. I had a habit of taking cautious turns due to nervousness, which could lead to safety concerns. Instead of moving further forward towards the center of the merging lane, my nervousness often prompted me to turn the wheel earlier than necessary. This premature turning meant I’d end up either closer to vehicles in the adjacent lane or dangerously near the road’s edges or pavement boundaries. S advised me to keep driving forward and maintain my focus straight ahead until I was closer to the middle of the intended lane, before initiating the turn. This adjustment allowed me to drive more comfortably, making my turns smoother and safer.
S also provided guidance on smooth braking. I tended to brake abruptly and release it too quickly due to nervousness, causing jerky movements. S advised me to brake gently and release it gradually, which made a significant difference in my vehicle control and my overall confidence.
Additionally, I remember the decal S ordered for my car, which read “New Driver, please be patient.” His thoughtful gesture had a surprising impact, eliciting sympathy, tolerance, understanding, and friendly gestures from other drivers on the road. This support from fellow motorists eased my anxiety during my early days of driving. Despite these improvements, I must admit that I will never be a great driver. Parallel parking and driving in bustling downtown areas remain intimidating for me.
Reflecting on my journey of learning to drive, I am so thankful for S’s wonderful tips, extremely grateful to DR for his dedication and patience in teaching me, as well as for his courage in sitting in the passenger seat while I, a complete novice, took the wheel. I’m also deeply appreciative of MK for gifting me a car that became more than just a vehicle; it became a trusted companion during the ups and downs of life, especially during my darkest moments.
Goodbye, my old friend!
Begin life at forty 