We had somehow prepared ourselves for a childless life, though we have 3 day-3 embryos — the fragile result of all the effort we could afford through the painful IVF journey. But after so many repeated failures, I became too vulnerable to hold onto hope.
But then …
Shortly after I returned to the US, I couldn’t name what I was feeling when I saw this:
It was the first time in my life I’d ever taken a pregnancy test.
And it was NATURAL.
S was overjoyed. But he couldn’t be like the other dads who cried when they first heard they were going to have a baby. He used onions to help.
Our baby’s first scan image — 10w3d.
It was a boy, revealed at 12w3d.
11/30/25, 14w1d
Christmas 2024, 17w4d
2/18/25, baby’s face at 25w4d
My happiest, most meaningful birthday ever, with a little soul growing inside me.
03/07/25, 28 wks
04/05/24, Grandma MK and Aunt M were preparing for the baby shower. ♥️♥️♥️
Aunt K and her family took charge of the event. ♥️♥️♥️
So many gifts for M, filled with love, excitement, hope and best wishes. Truly appreciated it all.
……
I was diagnosed with cholestasis, a rare pregnancy condition that can cause stillbirth or reduced oxygen supply for unborn babies. The doctor said I would need to deliver at 37 wks, by C-section as our baby was breech. ….
He was born at 8:03 AM, 6 lbs, 19.7 inches, at 8:03 AM. The moment the doctor lifted him up so I could catch a glimpse of him behind the fabric panel that separated my eyes from the surgery, along with his cry echoing through the room, I couldn’t help but burst into tears. They came after long days of my waiting and longing for the union between us.
My big love,
Thank you so much for your presence in our lives — Everyone is excited to meet you. I’d waited so long for the moment I could finally touch you, smell you, hold you, and kiss you. B asked me , “Do you feel joy?” I replied, “I feel peace.” When you were in my arms, peace was the first thing I felt, and it has stayed with me ever since . It’s hard to explain, but at my age, after all, peace means more to me than anything else. When peace is present, it flows through me like a quiet creek — fresh, gentle, and steady. When it’s there, it showers me with joy and gives me the motivation to live more meaningfully. I’ll try to be your good mom.
Love you,
Mama
Begin life at forty 