Headed to Dollar General to buy clippers, notebooks, and pens. Back home, pulled weeds in the front flower bed, cleaned the half bathroom, completed the laundry, and ran the dryer. Had a conversation with myself and the universe to clear my mind and feel the spiritual support.
Sun, 6/4: Chores
Watered plants, did yoga, cleaned the kitchen, put away the dishes, and loaded the dishwasher. Then, refilled the jars of salt, changed the kitchen towel, and organized the pantry. Next, ironed clothes, changed the bedsheets and hand/face cloths.
Mon, 6/5: Gardening
We renovated our flower bed in the front yard a year after we moved in, and I had never touched it since then. The majority of flowers and ground cover plants died, while the remaining ones grew slowly and lacked luster.
The bed was full of weeds and the thorny blackberry vines had vigorously crawled all over. There was a period of time when it took a lot of effort just to take care of myself. I felt restless and overwhelmed most of the time, so it’s no surprise the flower bed was completely neglected.
We pulled up weeds, removed stubborn vines, old mulch and dead leaves. The prickling thorns of blackberry vines were so annoying; I had to wear thick gloves and carefully removed them. Then S added more soil, raked it and pressed it firmly to raise the ground of the bed. To prevent future weed growth, we placed a fabric liner over the bed. Since the bed has existing plants already, laying the liner wasn’t easy. It required patience and attention to put down the liner so that it could cover the ground neatly and was still in one piece. With some sewing experience, I felt like I was tailoring a robe for the bed, securing the edges and joints with long nails.
Mixed top soil with Black Kow
Tue, 6/13:
Read “The World: A Brief History” by Felipe Fernandez-Armesto.
Thur, 6/15:He couldn’t pronounce “Buổi sáng” right
Taught S a new Vietnamese word, “Buổi sáng,” which means “Morning.” However, S hilariously mispronounced the first word, which turned out to be a vulgar word in Vietnamese. I burst into laughter at this unexpected twist.
To avoid that embarrassing situation, I told him to always say two words together, almost as if they were one word. This way the first word would be deemphasized and there was almost no pause between two words. He did much better after following my trick.
Fri, 6/16: Chores
Made lard and cooked chicken gizzards with five herbal spices. Since the aroma and taste were so good, plus I hadn’t had them for a long time, I ended up eating a lot and feeling overly full and uncomfortable afterwards. I took a short break before deep cleaning a fan, washing bathroom mats and curtains.
Tue, 6/20: Chores
Took morning supplements, deep cleaned the fridge including tossing away old food and expired items, cleaned kitchen cabinets and ran the dishwasher.
Tidied up the living room, took out the trash, made a pot of black tea, burned Auroshikha natural gum benzoin incense, and cooked dinner which included spicy stewed beef, sauteed mixed greens with olive oil butter, and 2 sunny-side-up eggs. Then, fed Sam and Dozer.
5/3: Overwhelmed about contacting Vietnamese consulate for visa renewal
Went to the IVF clinic though I didn’t really want to. Felt lazy and unmotivated. Forgot to take a.m. supplements. Came home, did some household tasks, like emptying the dish rack, tidying up the living room, and folding clothes. Made a roast beef sandwich for S’s dinner together with blackberries and blueberries for dessert. Felt stressed just thinking about calling a Vietnamese consulate tomorrow for visa renewal as I hate dealing with paperwork with the Vietnamese authority. After reading numerous negative reviews about Vietnamese consulates and their services, it even stressed me out more. I totally don’t possess the necessary skills to navigate through this unsupported and confusing process.
5/8: Chores
Did yoga, took daily supplements, cooked dinner, fed Sam and Dozer, loaded and ran the dishwasher, cleaned the kitchen, cleaned Sam’s litter box and ironed shirts.
5/9: Chores
Went to Publix and got one whole ultimate multigrain sub and one whole meatball sub together with pepper jack and white cheddar cheese. I also got French bread which looked and smelled too good to pass up. It is great for a beef sub or dipping in condensed milk.
5/10: Chores
Took morning supplements, made a pot of black tea, read “Description and Setting”. The book provides some excellent tips and insights into crafting vivid descriptions and settings in writing. Then did yoga, cleaned the shared bathroom and changed the hand and face cloths. Also changed Dozer’s bed sheets, vacuumed and mopped the downstairs, did the laundry and ran the dryer. Continued to unload and load the dishwasher, boiled water and cooked steak, sauteed mix green and microwaved corn for dinner. Finally cleaned the kitchen, studied Math and took p.m. supplements.
5/13: Chores
Went grocery shopping, bought Nexxus shampoo and conditioner – I love them so much, their smell is so soothing and pleasant. Went home, put groceries away, changed bed sheets, fed Dozer and Sam, loaded the dishwasher and ran the dryer. Later made meatballs for dinner using ground beef, egg, milk, parmesan cheese, and a blend of spices.
5/14: Chores
Made tomato sauce and spring rolls. I hate a messy countertop, so I always make sure this space is clear and has plenty of room for me to conveniently and comfortably prep food. Then I cleaned Sam’s litter box.
5/18: Read “Deadly Emotions”. The book delved into the intricate connection between our emotions and our overall well-being. Then booked a doggy hotel for Dozer. Took a hot shower which always makes me feel so relaxed and I’m grateful for those moments of pure enjoyment.
5/20: Trimmed S’s hair and packed things for our upcoming short trip – actually S traveled for work and I would accompany him. Then I pampered myself by applying Uncle Bud’s hemp seed oil to revitalize, hydrate, and tighten my skin. Yesterday, I worked a few hours in the yard in the hot weather, so I gave my skin a little extra care.
5/26: Tired of listening to superfluous, flowy flirts
We haven’t talked to each other recently. I thought she knew I wasn’t interested in her sharing about her dates with every man she met online or in person. They weren’t actually dates yet; she barely knew those men but they flirted with her. It was too early to mind those dates and men since they were too new. She didn’t have much information about them and neither did they. What she felt “their love” were just merely words or actions, if any, that showed their interest in meeting her. I know any committed relationship has to have such first steps. But the way she talked about their dates (including those that have only been happening online for a few weeks) was like they were really into her. At our age, I see that thought as shallow. I wasn’t interested in listening to superfluous, showy flirts those men said to her, especially when she didn’t take them seriously either. Why waste our time? I love to hear about her relationship if she shows me her seriousness or interest in that guy, instead of updating the guys who she thinks are “chasing” her, which may be not true in reality, or too early to question if they are serious or not.
5/28: Mixed emotions
Woke up feeling down due to the uncertainty surrounding my period and fertility journey. Had oatmeal with banana paste for breakfast. Made S his favorite drink, lemon juice with ginger and a pinch of salt to celebrate S’s exam success. Then I went to Burlington and bought a bunch of Asian snacks including coffee candy, latte candy, chewy ginger, tiramisu waffles, and jelly marshmallows. Was happy to have found a beautiful decorative tray there at a clearance price of just $5.
Still felt low though. Forgot to put the washed clothes into the dryer, mistook Saturday for Sunday, and almost forgot my sister’s birthday. I missed my city life in VN where I had a few good friends to hang out with. We talked over tea and coffee, we explored aesthetic coffee shops in SG, we went shopping and visited theaters; we had meals, attended weekend public events and celebrated national festivals together. Those times were so wonderful and memorable. I also missed my alone time at a book coffee shop or a serene piano coffee shop where I sit to work instead of going to the office. I missed the taste of rum coffee or Vietnamese bold viscous coffee with condensed milk, brewed in a small metal filter. I found solace in those moments of solitude, accompanied with nostalgic music and the bittersweet flavors of coffee. In the midst of unknown directions, these solitary moments provided me with a sense of peace.
Throughout the day, sadness and even a tinge of misery loomed over me until I came across an article about a destitute elderly man battling three types of cancers for over a decade. The perpetual treatment has immensely drained him physically, emotionally and financially. His plight was a wake-up call that reminded me how fortunate my life is despite challenges and difficulties. I felt better because I understood how much luckier I am than so many others who are less unfortunate.
5/29: Chores
Took Dozer to a park near home. Later, I folded clothes, put away the dishes, cleaned the kitchen, and went to Walmart for groceries. My lower back hurt after hours of pulling weeds. Felt better after using a heat pad, one of our must-haves in the medicine cabinet.
5/30: Gardening
Was happy my blanket flowers looked fresher and more revived. Two days ago, they didn’t look great. Their leaves drooped and dehydrated and some roots were exposed. I watered the flowers, added more soil so that the ground level wasn’t too low compared to the level of soil around the flowers, then pressed it down firmly. I also added some fertilizer, hoping it would help them recover. At first, I was worried that maybe I hadn’t planted them right as I had never done that alone before. But then I felt hopeful when I googled why newly-planted flowers looked wilted and found out that it’s not unusual for them to go through a bit of shock when transitioning from a pot to a flower bed.
Begin life at forty 