We had somehow prepared ourselves for a childless life, though we have 3 day-3 embryos — the fragile result of all the effort we could afford through the painful IVF journey. But after so many repeated failures, I became too vulnerable to hold onto hope.
But then …
Shortly after I returned to the US, I couldn’t name what I was feeling when I saw this:
It was the first time in my life I’d ever taken a pregnancy test.
And it was NATURAL.
S was overjoyed. But he couldn’t be like the other dads who cried when they first heard they were going to have a baby. He used onions to help.
Our baby’s first scan image — 10w3d.
It was a boy, revealed at 12w3d.
11/30/25, 14w1d
Christmas 2024, 17w4d
2/18/25, baby’s face at 25w4d
My happiest, most meaningful birthday ever, with a little soul growing inside me.
03/07/25, 28 wks
04/05/24, Grandma MK and Aunt M were preparing for the baby shower. ♥️♥️♥️
Aunt K and her family took charge of the event. ♥️♥️♥️
So many gifts for M, filled with love, excitement, hope and best wishes. Truly appreciated it all.
……
I was diagnosed with cholestasis, a rare pregnancy condition that can cause stillbirth or reduced oxygen supply for unborn babies. The doctor said I would need to deliver at 37 wks, by C-section as our baby was breech. ….
He was born at 8:03 AM, 6 lbs, 19.7 inches, at 8:03 AM. The moment the doctor lifted him up so I could catch a glimpse of him behind the fabric panel that separated my eyes from the surgery, along with his cry echoing through the room, I couldn’t help but burst into tears. They came after long days of my waiting and longing for the union between us.
My big love,
Thank you so much for your presence in our lives — Everyone is excited to meet you. I’d waited so long for the moment I could finally touch you, smell you, hold you, and kiss you. B asked me , “Do you feel joy?” I replied, “I feel peace.” When you were in my arms, peace was the first thing I felt, and it has stayed with me ever since . It’s hard to explain, but at my age, after all, peace means more to me than anything else. When peace is present, it flows through me like a quiet creek — fresh, gentle, and steady. When it’s there, it showers me with joy and gives me the motivation to live more meaningfully.I’ll try to be your good mom.
I vacuumed the first floor, cleaned the kitchen, did the laundry, and put groceries away after a trip to Aldi. I also prepped and cooked potato chicken soup and spaghetti, and later had the soup for dinner while S had spaghetti.
Friday, April 25th, 2025 : Refresh Guest Room
I woke up late and felt upset about wasting time, but decided to do light exercise to start my day. I had potato chicken soup and banh u—a small pyramid-shaped sticky rice dumpling, filled with mung bean paste and pork, wrapped in banana leaves for breakfast. Then, it was chore time! Vacuumed the downstairs, got the dryer going, did the laundry and after that took a shower. The whole afternoon just flew by placing three Walmart orders. Ended up getting Euro gray shams (26×26), Euro pillow inserts (same size), standard pillows (20×26), a clay duvet insert and cover for the queen bed, and other household stuff.
In the evening, I cooked meatballs, cleaned the kitchen, and put another load in the dryer. S was back at painting after work, focusing on filling wall imperfections and painting the trims and doors. We’re using the same wall color— a tad brighter, I think — just giving it a fresh look. We’re really hoping to finish soon so we can focus more on Oriahn’s room.
Saturday, April 26th, 2025
I did exercise and attended a 3-hour virtual class (Boot Camps for New Dads). Later, S&I went to the Habitat for Humanity store and luckily found two nightstands and an end table for a really good price, plus they gave us a sweet discount. I was happy with the finds. After that, S and I went to the Depot at Gibson Mill, a huge antique space. It was massive, but we were only there for half an hour cause S wasn’t too interested and wanted to get back to painting. We had Mexican food in the Gibson market next door before heading home.
I took a short nap when we got back while S kept on painting. When I woke up, I gave D his meds, fed him and Sam, washed a blanket, put away the Walmart deliveries, and did some cleaning.
Later, we got on the baby registry and bought a bunch of stuff: a car seat, a bouncer, a diaper backpack, a changing mat, a diaper box, and a toddler mattress. I also ran the dishwasher and the dryer. The evening ended with me chilling with a latte and relaxing for a bit. But then late at night, D had a seizure, which seems to happen once a month despite the daily medications he’s been taking.
Sunday, April 27th, 2025
Started my day with some exercise and had a breakfast of milk, mandarins, banh u, and strawberries. I then put the dishes away, ran the dryer, and took a shower. Later, I cleaned the bathroom and talked to MK.
At 1:30 pm, S&I attended a 1.5-hour virtual infant massage class. I was a little confused at first cause it seemed to be for parents with babies already, and mine isn’t due until the end of May. S made it fun by joking, “we’re going to massage our dog,” which made the instructor and I couldn’t help but laugh. I almost left the class but S said to stay, saying it wouldn’t hurt to learn the techniques early. After the class, I cooked a late lunch: zucchini soup, and fried catfish dipped in the mix of fish sauce, lemon, sugar, hot chilies, crushed ginger, and garlic—it was so good, I was full afterward. I then started cleaning up O’s room, and fed D and Sam. I also threw the bathroom mats in the wash and got the dryer going.
In the evening, while S was putting the finishing touches on painting the living room, I cooked steak, spaghetti, and a salad with blue cheese ranch for his dinner. Tomorrow, I might get the results from my blood work and liver ultrasound. Not sure what’s going on with my health lately, but fingers crossed, it’s nothing serious and just a temporary thing.
Monday, April 28th, 2025 : Love Publix’s BOGO Deals&altered curtains
Got out of bed at 10 a.m., feeling disappointed in myself cause I wasted, like, three hours again in the morning, just like yesterday. Had a boring breakfast, took a shower, then headed out to Walgreens to pick up Dozer’s meds. After that, I stopped by Publix for groceries. Really love Publix’s Buy-One-Get-One deals — got Nature’s Own butter bread for only $2.01 vs. $3.42 at Walmart. And their frozen seafood is awesome. They usually have my faves on sale, and it’s often just pure seafood without additives, preservatives, or even added salt. Plus, it’s so great that you don’t have to buy two for the BOGO; you can just get one at half price. Love that!
S’s favorite things, like snacks, pizza, cheese, ice cream, and drinks, are often part of that deal too. However, I’m planning to cut back on the snacks cause S tends to overeat them in the middle of the night, which isn’t good given his high blood pressure. We’ll see how long this “snack break” lasts.
After I finished my grocery shopping, we both got home—S was off work earlier—He moved the nightstands upstairs, and together we rearranged the guest room. I felt quite happy with the new look. Later, I had a late lunch of fried rice, shrimp, and kimchi, and then drank some milk.
Around 5:34 p.m., I removed things from the dining room and covered the table and chairs with a plastic sheet to get ready for S’s painting. At 6:11 p.m., I gave D his meds and fed both him and Sam. At 6:41 p.m., I cleaned the hydro vac.
In the evening, I steamed shrimp and made a meatball sandwich for S’s dinner. Then I ran the dishwasher and cleaned the kitchen. Later, we hung the new curtains in the living room. They’re blackout, grommet-top, and patterned. I couldn’t find anything better within our budget, so I was pretty happy with them, even though they were only 84 inches long. Ideally, for our 8-foot (96 inches) ceilings, we’d want 92-inch curtains to almost touch the floor. Together with1.5 inches for a new hem, 1.5 inches for joining fabric, and about 1 inch for the portion above the rod, we were short by at least 12 inches per curtain panel.
Since the curtains had large hems, I decided to unstitch them, gaining about 3 extra inches per panel, which meant I only needed to add about 9 more inches.
I bought two extra panels and cut them up to attach to the bottoms of the originals. It seemed like it would be a super easy project – just cutting and sewing straight lines, it turned out to be much trickier. I messed up a bunch of times: my measurements and calculations weren’t always precise, I sometimes sewed the wrong sides together, the patterns on the original curtains and the added pieces didn’t always line up perfectly, and my stitching was sometimes too tight or too loose, causing slight puckering or waviness. Despite the imperfections, the final curtains looked pretty good to me. Happy!
Want to mention that we’re a little worried about Dozer. He had a seizure two days ago. His vet said we should give him an extra dose (500 mg) of his usual meds whenever he has one. If he keeps having them this often, the plan is to up his regular dose. If that still doesn’t do the trick, the vet may add a second medication to the treatment. We’ll have to wait and see.
Begin life at forty 